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What Does BDSM Really Mean?

What Does BDSM Really Mean?

What Does BDSM Really Mean?

The official meaning behind the acronym BDSM is bondage, discipline, submission and dominance sadism and masochism. Breaking this down, the term is defined by consensual practices in these areas. We will look at each part in turn, but it is important to stress the consensual aspect of these practices. Both parties absolutely have to be willing and able to participate in BDSM. Most couples use a "safe" word - a word or phrase which, when spoken, stops all activity. It has to be something random, like "teapot". That's because some couples agree to play out certain fantasies, so the words "stop" or "no" may actually be part of the roleplay. Agreeing to a random word or phrase means that it is explicitly clear that the person wants to stop and you don’t have to break character to ask if they are okay, which can ruin the mood! With that covered, let's enter the dark side and look at the different practices BDSM covers.

Bondage

Leather Bondage Set

This is when one of the couple (or group) is tied up or restrained in some way. Their movement is restricted, giving the other party control over what they do to them. If you have never tried this and are completely new to these practices, why not use something soft (like a light scarf) to tie your partner's hands to the bed posts or headboard? If you don’t have either of these, handcuffs work just as well, or you might prefer something like this Leather Bondage Set. There are so many toys available to help you really spice things up. Something like the Wrist to Anal Plug is a little different and could really make you feel like you are playing the part.

Wrist to Anal Plug

Discipline

Some people like to think of this aspect of BDSM as foreplay. This requires a lot of trust in your partner as you have to act in a way in which they decide, and there will be punishments if you break the rules. Why not try a little light spanking if rules are broken? This is a very popular practice for people to partake in when first trying out aspects of BDSM.

Submission and Dominance

The whole idea of this aspect of BDSM is for the dominant person to assert control over the submissive. In some groups, this is their way of life. The dominant, or "dom", can sometimes be referred to as "Sir" or "Master". The submissive, or "sub", can be called anything from "slave" to more derogatory terms like "bitch" or not even addressed at all. If you wish to try these particular roles, you could act out a scenario where one of you is the Dom and must be called Master (Male) or Mistress (female) and the Sub is referred to as just "you".

Sadism

This is where it starts to get a little darker and the stress on consent is needed. There is an extreme end of sadism and masochism that is a whole different ball game than what a lot of people are comfortable with. Sadism is, essentially, where one person causes pain to another. Sadism is defined as one person enjoying causing pain to another, and how far this goes needs to be agreed upon by both parties. This is where the safe word comes in handy! Sadistic acts can be anything from spanking to choking and even further in some groups. Why not progress the light spanking to a harder slap, if the other person is happy for this to happen? You might decide use something like the Crimson Tied 3 Piece Kit. You could even think about alternating between gently stroking and pinching a blindfolded sub.

Crimson Tied 3 Piece Kit

Masochism

This is the other side, where someone enjoys pain being caused to them. Again, the safe word is critical here. Some women want to act out scenarios where sex is forced upon them. It is frantic, sometimes painful and they are made to feel helpless. If this is what she wants, make sure you know the limits, get in to character and try it out. A lot of men are not comfortable with playing this part, but if they are, it could be a welcome change for both of you.

However you wish to try BDSM, make sure you both agree on the limits and a safe word and let yourself loose. It can be incredibly liberating playing the part of a different character, and living out fantasies can be just what you need to reignite passion in your relationship.